Learning // thoughts

You learn a lot about yourself when you don't have anyone to share it with...
Sounds odd, but it's so true. You begin not thinking about what used to be the significant other and instead focusing on what you want to do or how you want to become; it molds you into the person you want to become without that other person.
Does that even make sense?
For example, I have learned that I take much to heart when it comes to people and what they say. If someone says they'll be there, I trust and expect them to be there. If someone says they will follow through with something, I 100% trust that they will do so. I suppose that at some points this can be a good thing. It demonstrates that I trust people and allow them to have responsibility. It also can be a bad thing because most times, people do not feel it necessary to follow through with what they have stated previously. Sometimes I put too much trust into people which brings me to the next thing I've learned about myself.
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
I forgive quite easily for the most part. I am good about allowing people second chances. This has its advantages and disadvantages as well. It shows that I am becoming stronger in my walk with God and that I am willing to toss things aside that should be forgiven. It has disadvantages though in that someone would take advantage of the fact that I allow second or third or fourth chances. I don't believe I've fully taken on the duty of forgiveness. I have accepted that forgiveness is something that should be important and a large part of my life. I don't believe I understand that with forgiveness comes common sense, so that I learn to forgive and not put myself in the same situation... : P I'll get there eventually : )

Something I'm very proud of myself right now for doing while juggling school (this started a while ago, I know I'm on break so it doesn't exactly apply) is that I feel that I am really striving and hungry for a strong foundation and relationship with Christ and to really further and develop my walk with the Lord. I want to go to church. I want to pray. I want to listen to worship songs. I want to learn how to study the Bible. I want to really make Jesus the biggest priority of my life and honor Him with all that I have.
It's a commitment.
But I want it : )

& now I have more than enough time to do that.

Some time ago, I was discussing an issue with a friend from school. I was having problems with my then boyfriend and whether or not we should continue dating. I didn't like who he had become over the last year and though he had said he was trying to change because he didn't like whom he had become either, I didn't feel it necessary to continue to date him if he was dragging me through his time of change when I could be bettering myself as well. She talked about her one and only relationship she'd ever had and how they decided it wasn't meant to be so they broke it off mutually. One of the things she did rather than mope around and think about him was she spent time with God instead. She channeled all the hurt and pain and loneliness into developing a deeper relationship with Christ and really finding out who she was and whom she wanted to become.

That's what I want to do.
And I'm trying.