maybe the truth is there's a little bit of loser in all of us, ya know? Being happy isn't having everything in your life be perfect. Maybe it's about stringing together all the little things- making those count for more than the bad stuff. Maybe we just get through it, and that's all we can ask for.
Some people show off their beauty because they want the world to see it. Others hide their beauty because they want the world to see something else.
...that despite everything he's suffered he can still look at life in the most uncomplicated way. I've never known that kind of faith. It makes me so sad that people like them who have lost everything can still be open to love... while I, who has lost nothing, am not.
You know what I like most about the stars? You look at them, at all of them up there . . .and you just know there's gotta be something more than life. I'm not scared of dyin' really. It's more that I'm afraid of time. And not having enough of it. Time to figure out who I'm supposed to be, to find my place in the world before I have to leave. I'm afraid of what I'll miss.
Sometimes it's easier to be mad at the people you trust because you know they'll always love you, no matter what.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
el oh, el oh, el oh, el oh vee eeeeeee.
I am an apprehensive and cautious person. Yes, this can be a fantastic thing sometimes, other times, not so much. I would argue that there is nothing wrong with being sensible over emotions. This would be another area I am extremely hesitant towards. I don't exactly wear my heart on my sleeve ... one may argue, occasionally, that my ribcage is in fact, hollow and contains no organs except for lungs. Ouch. But has been proven to be true in certain and necessary circumstances.
Due to this natural guard I have placed up, I don't exactly make it easy to really "let people in" or express emotion in the correct context ... rather, in a context that can be placed into words for other people to understand.
My aunt recently recommended that I read this book to maybe learn how to communicate in a way that other people can understand, and so that I can understand other people. Yes, this is written for married couples, and I am definitely not married, but I feel this can be applied on way more levels than just marriage, though this would definitely be the most important level : ) A perfect example of this very phenomena is with my young cousin. I am by no means a touchy-feely person either. I have a bubble. And it's a large bubble. I don't like hugs. I don't like public displays of affection. I don't like to be touched at all, really. Olivia is a perfect example of not being like this at all. Rather, she craves it. For me, it is difficult for me to understand that this is how she expresses she cares or loves someone. She finds it difficult to understand that I do NOT use this method to convey my love to someone.
In this book, the author, a family/marriage counselor, has discovered throughout his career that most people express their love in five different ways
1) Words of affirmation
2) Quality time
3) Receiving gifts
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical touch
Now that this has been brought up, I can look at members of my family, my friends, and even myself and deduce which category I would fall into, or those other people. It was interesting to read this book and apply it to not only my life but be able to apply it to others' life as well.
As previously stated before, I do not crave physical touch whatsoever, so that is eliminated 100%. I am not exactly capable of receiving a compliment so words of affirmation can get the boot. This also applies for gifts, I would much rather give them and I do not like getting them. And though I like it when people do stuff for me, I am far too independent to want that. So naturally, using the elimination method as quite simple. A much simpler method is to simply look at relationships I have with people and decided what really ticks me off and what really makes me happy.
I feel most let down by friends or family when a plan or idea falls through. I feel as if I have been led on to believe one thing is happening when it never does. Unfortunately, though i'm not good at receiving gifts or compliments, I am great at picking out friends who seem to do this more often than none and this has essentially, led to the downfall of our friendship. Bailing on a scheduled plan, outing, date, anything, is more of a stab to me than telling me I don't look nice, not giving me a hug, not giving me a gift, or mowing my lawn. I feel as though that person does not feel I am important enough to carry out the plan, or to even bother telling me that they can't make it. There are certain times that I understand come up and it is no longer optional to commit to something. But at the same time, it isn't that difficult to tell me why (this would be a second pet peeve = own upppppp).
Something that i do need to work on that deals directly with this issue is holding grudges. I will always remember that one time you didn't show up, or the time you promised but backed out, and it is very difficult for me to move on from that. Yes, I may forgive you, but it's that last part, the forget, that I can't seem to apply.
This is a weakness on my part. It isn't right that I hold that over someone's head for a mistake made once. How many chances am I handed daily for the sins I commit, but I can't forgive and forget one or two times someone hurt my feelings, as I hurt God's every day with some of the choices I make?
Back to the book, I would recommend it to anyone who is a bit lost when dealing with emotions and other people's emotions as well. Now if only I could find a book that taught me how to make a teleporter, I would have all of the answers to life : )
Due to this natural guard I have placed up, I don't exactly make it easy to really "let people in" or express emotion in the correct context ... rather, in a context that can be placed into words for other people to understand.
My aunt recently recommended that I read this book to maybe learn how to communicate in a way that other people can understand, and so that I can understand other people. Yes, this is written for married couples, and I am definitely not married, but I feel this can be applied on way more levels than just marriage, though this would definitely be the most important level : ) A perfect example of this very phenomena is with my young cousin. I am by no means a touchy-feely person either. I have a bubble. And it's a large bubble. I don't like hugs. I don't like public displays of affection. I don't like to be touched at all, really. Olivia is a perfect example of not being like this at all. Rather, she craves it. For me, it is difficult for me to understand that this is how she expresses she cares or loves someone. She finds it difficult to understand that I do NOT use this method to convey my love to someone.
In this book, the author, a family/marriage counselor, has discovered throughout his career that most people express their love in five different ways
1) Words of affirmation
2) Quality time
3) Receiving gifts
4) Acts of Service
5) Physical touch
Now that this has been brought up, I can look at members of my family, my friends, and even myself and deduce which category I would fall into, or those other people. It was interesting to read this book and apply it to not only my life but be able to apply it to others' life as well.
As previously stated before, I do not crave physical touch whatsoever, so that is eliminated 100%. I am not exactly capable of receiving a compliment so words of affirmation can get the boot. This also applies for gifts, I would much rather give them and I do not like getting them. And though I like it when people do stuff for me, I am far too independent to want that. So naturally, using the elimination method as quite simple. A much simpler method is to simply look at relationships I have with people and decided what really ticks me off and what really makes me happy.
I feel most let down by friends or family when a plan or idea falls through. I feel as if I have been led on to believe one thing is happening when it never does. Unfortunately, though i'm not good at receiving gifts or compliments, I am great at picking out friends who seem to do this more often than none and this has essentially, led to the downfall of our friendship. Bailing on a scheduled plan, outing, date, anything, is more of a stab to me than telling me I don't look nice, not giving me a hug, not giving me a gift, or mowing my lawn. I feel as though that person does not feel I am important enough to carry out the plan, or to even bother telling me that they can't make it. There are certain times that I understand come up and it is no longer optional to commit to something. But at the same time, it isn't that difficult to tell me why (this would be a second pet peeve = own upppppp).
Something that i do need to work on that deals directly with this issue is holding grudges. I will always remember that one time you didn't show up, or the time you promised but backed out, and it is very difficult for me to move on from that. Yes, I may forgive you, but it's that last part, the forget, that I can't seem to apply.
This is a weakness on my part. It isn't right that I hold that over someone's head for a mistake made once. How many chances am I handed daily for the sins I commit, but I can't forgive and forget one or two times someone hurt my feelings, as I hurt God's every day with some of the choices I make?
Back to the book, I would recommend it to anyone who is a bit lost when dealing with emotions and other people's emotions as well. Now if only I could find a book that taught me how to make a teleporter, I would have all of the answers to life : )
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)