random things.

I haven't done a list of random things lately, just some well thought-out posts... I'm taking an English class so I have to actually write things. So my theory is that in writing out papers in a sophisticated and academic way, my blog becomes. . . well, not sophisticated but rather, structured in an academic paper motif rather than rambling thoughts and fabrications that occur within the walls of my skull... hah.

So, shall we return to simplicity and just admire the workings of my mind at it's norm, when it is most comfortable and accelerating at the speed of sound? Yes, sounds lovely to me. So does Hawaii, wish I could venture off there like I am venturing off to the natural escapes of my mind...

• THREE DAYS UNTIL SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (! x 937891738505054827302pi)
  though I would consider it winter break since 9 inches of snow just graced Michigan with its presence 48 hours ago. I hate Michigan, and apparently, so does Mother Nature. Thanks Mommy dearest for reminding us that the groundhog did indeed NOT find his shadow and regardless if he did, you would still take out your frustrations on our poor, cracking roads and grody, salt-crusted Ugg boots...
• I am absolutely terrified of the MCAT.
  it has honestly become an obsession within my head . . . I am surprised I haven't started hearing voices taunting me over it yet (I'm sure they will come eventually, when spring break isn't so permanently burned into my brain). There are just so many uncertainties. I know I just posted about how comforting it is to know that God has control over everything, including my MCAT score, but he does not have enough control to allow me to not prepare for it and still do well. And I am driving myself insane with, "what if I don't get in anywhere?" "what if I am forced to take a year off- what will I do then?" "What if i am not meant to be a doctor" (a little late for that one, huh...) ugh. what if what if what if. So dumb... I know : (
• I feel horrible for my mom, grandparents, and sister
  Though my sister's power is back on from the ice storms, my mom and grandparents have been without power for over 48 hours. And they're planning on it being at least another 12 hours minimum... I invited them up here but unfortunately, I think it's too far of a drive for them to make now if the power will be back on in 12-24 hours : (
• I am pretty sure I have a cavity
  I was checking the other day, oh what a site it would have been to see that... Balancing a mirror and still seeing out of it, while looking in the mirror, and pointing a flashlight into your mouth is not as easy as it sounds, let me tell you.
• I need a new workout routine
  I love running but for only outside. and the trek to the CCRB is soooo long and cold nowadays, a run outside would probably be considered better than trying to walk all the way over there, especially in this snow. I am leaning towards some sort of video workout, perhaps a TaeBo, pilates, and/or high cardio dvd. Idk, I haven't really been able to do my research yet but I will get there eventually. Maybe by that time, it will be "spring" and I can begin my outdoor training!

back to studying... stupid Oprah midterm. ugh.

"why do we get married? we need a witness to our lives. there's a billion people on the planet. i mean, what does any one life really mean? but in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything- the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. you're saying, 'your life will not go unnoticed because i will notice it. your life will not go un-witnessed because i will be your witness.'"

-shall we dance

	Peter Gabriel - Book Of Love .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

this could be judgmental . . . maybe.

this is going to be a long one...

College is a time of growth and learning, specifically, growth and learning of oneself, life, and relationships. Some college kids take this growth and learning to an entirely new level. Society has dramatically changed the norm for a relationship nowadays. These days, college guys drink uncontrollably to fit in and do whatever they please without a conscious. Meanwhile, self-conscious college girls are out drinking hardly anything but acting in ways that are beyond self-destructive. It is a perpetual, never-ending circle. Guys do as they please, girls please as they do. What I cannot fail to see is the long-term effects of this vicious cycle. How do guys really feel after they have done intimate things with so many girls and then see them in class? How do girls feel knowing that they attracted a guy solely due to a plunging neckline and short skirt, not for what they really have to offer? Drinking just offers an excuse for these actions, an alternative. In reality, it only makes the situation worse. How can drinking help in anything? It destroys the lives of those who allow for it to consume their lives. It gives people the freedom they never “thought” they had, when in fact, they had it all along but didn’t know how to exhibit it. Perhaps I am hypocritical for this. I admit, I first drank last year and I have found it to be one of two regrets I have had in my entire life. It wasn’t that I allowed it to stray me from what I have always believed, it is that it confirmed what I had always believed. It was, and still is, most regretful that I doubted myself and what was once my biggest stances just to reaffirm that I was right all along. I am not condemning drinking to nonexistence, it should just be something done with maturity and responsibility. It should not be about getting drunk, forgetting troubles, or having a good Saturday night. Though, college students see this as the only option available sometimes.

Secondly, when it comes to actually growing up, why can’t a college student do so? College is definitely meant to be a time of one’s life where they can be as selfish as they please. Once again, this is an area that is exploited and abused about as much as sorority girls and drinking. It is as if students continue in their habits, even after they are no longer students, to live out something that ended years ago.

Life is, and never was, about how many rounds of beer pong one was undefeated freshman year. It isn’t about the number of girls you got in one weekend or snagging the best-looking frat boy at a part. It isn’t about wearing the shortest skirt, or the highest heels. It isn’t about the football games, the tailgates, the hangovers, and the late nights. Those are what some would argue college is about.I would argue that college is about finding out who you truly are before you have to grow up and enter the real world. It’s about finding friends who respect you, love you, care for you. It’s about building relationships, a resume, an education, and using all of those skills acquired to really make life what it is. What is sad is that the widespread “idea” of college is something that exists only in college. Those “things” are not anything that can be applied to the real world that can be used throughout one’s life. I’m pretty sure at 79, beer pong is the last thing on your mind. And that your boss is not going to appreciate when you show up to work in a raggedy, denim mini skirt. However, you friends are going to appreciate the qualities you obtained being friends to others. Your boss will appreciate those internships and experiences you gained during college. Your husband or wife will appreciate knowing that they love you and there is no other you out there, that you are most comfortable and confident with yourself.

There are two things that I believe I have most benefitted from in college: my relationship with God, and the relationship God has provided for me with the love of my life.

Establishing a relationship with God has been the most successful, rewarding, and beneficial decisions of my life. And clearly the best. I realized last night that there is nothing more satisfying than knowing that I am incapable. That I will fail. That I am helpless. I am hopeless. I am n o t h i n g without God. But with Him, I am everything. I am someone who can accomplish all, I can conquer all.It is just about allowing Him to move in my life and trusting that He knows best. There is nothing,nothing, more reassuring than knowing that my life is already planned; I am just along for the ride.I am here to live it in a way that God would have me live it.

What I find so disappointing about life is why so many do not have this type of faith. Because if they did have faith in someone that can move mountains, who reigns from Heaven above, who is all powerful and loving, they would realize that they don’t need all of those silly things that college students convince themselves they need.

I am the happiest I have ever been in my life because of this faith, because of God. Isn’t that what everyone wants, shoots for, hopes, dreams, and wishes for?

• Jeremiah 17:7
• Proverbs 3:5-6
• Psalms 40:8

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

as passed on in an email...

"to get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."

when God takes something for your grasp, He's not punishing you

but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

the will of God will never take you where the Grace of God

will not protect you.

put me on a plane

& fly me to anywhere

with you

vday or the lack thereof : P

"set the fire to the third bar"

snow patrol

current playlist : (

"come away with me" norah jones. "smile" uncle cracker. "with me" sum 41. "on your arm" schuyler fisk. "before it's too late" goo goo dolls. "come home" one republic. "set fire to the third bar" snow patrol. "way i am" ingrid michaelson. "paperweight" joshua radin & schuyler fisk. "the best thing" relient k. "iris" goo goo dolls. "falling in love at a coffee shop" landon pigg. "your arms feel like home" 3 doors down. "hey there delilah" plain white tees. "don't know why" norah jones. "from where you are" lifehouse. "oh, it is love" hellogoodbye. "here in your arms" hellogoodbye. "i miss you" incubus. "don't stop believin''" journey. "without you here" goo goo dolls. "feels like home" chantel kreviazuk. "