Tuesday, December 22, 2009

future decided. . .

and it's gonna be an arm and a leg.

I was curious about prices for med school the other night so I began searching at different schools. Average? About $40,000 I would say, especially since I want to go out of state (preferably, southhhh = WARMTH!) The cheapest was MSU and OSU (ha, figures. the one rival and the other wannabe rival) and they sat around $23,000-$25,000 a year.

Then I decided to look up the application fee which the supplemental application for one school was $68, and there still has to be a first application fee as well, I would assume.

Then there's the MCAT and I never looked up the price of taking that but I know a course costs anywhere from $4000-$10,000+ (not taking that one. . . )

. . . so.

If you figure I go to med school for four years on an average of $45,000 a year (it increases every year), and then you figure that before that, I take the MCAT which is probably going to be a few hundred dollars, and a course so figure $2000 (I will shop around). Then you figure app fees to be about $70 maybe on average? And if I apply to ten med schools, that's $700 (wow, genius huh?)

so add it all up?

$182,850.

YIKES.




Now for the good part.
I went and looked up the average salary for an ophthalmologist. Whoop whoop, let me tell you.
Starting pay : $150,000 on average, standard deviation: $41,000
1st year bonus : $30,000, standard deviation: $10,000
5 years experience : $272,000, standard deviation: $100,000

Now that's what I am talking about : )

Now don't get me wrong, this definitely makes me sound like I am in it for the money.
But if you read above, those first few years are going to be paying back a lot a lot a looooot of loans : S
I need the money.
But I will also be doing something I have wanted to do for. . . well, since I can remember.
Except for that time in first grade when I wanted to be a professional ballerina . . . didn't work out.

It'll be a great occupation, flexible, and something I love.
C'monnnn med school!
oy.
wait, idk if I am ready to sign away that much money : (

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Jesus Loves me, and you, and you, and you. . .

I have the fantastic opportunity to attend an amazing church in aa while at college. This is sometimes what gets me through the week: every Sunday morning when I can simply wake up and praise God for the day He's given and the blessings He provides.
Today was an interesting sermon and I greatly enjoyed it. You can listen to it here on the New Life Church website : )

He titled it "Freedom Through Weakness." I think I am going to go back and listen to Part I of his sermon sometime after finals.
To begin the service off, we have a portion called "Slice of Their Life" which is when a member of the church, typically a student, steps up and gives their testimony. Today was an amazing story of a guy who saw abuse and divorce in his family and through all his pain and struggles, met amazing people here at the U and came to know Christ and His love and power and mercy. His parents divorced at a young age and his father had an anger issue. He told that when his father remarried, he became a foster parent and had one foster boy that he "took care of." This consisted of beating the child and making his own children watch as he did so that they would not disobey him. His mother used to tell him he was worthless, he would amount to nothing, his friends didn't really care about him, and he was ugly. He grew up alone and without love in his life, except for the love of alcohol. He came to the U, met a girl, and she took him to New Life. He had been exposed to church before, but had never taken up to it. He got involved and learned that all he needed to do was talk about the ways he had been hurt, what he had seen, the issues he had bottled up inside of him and never let anyone know. As he did this, he learned that people genuinely cared, they wanted to help him, and that this form of therapy, a release, did really help him move on from his problems.

After this, one of our five (yes, five wonderful and phenomenal pastors), Rick Keith, began his sermon on Freedom through Weakness.
2 Corinthians 12:7-10 NIV
"7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power in made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."


Rick then goes on to explain how through our weaknesses, we find Christ. It is during these times of sorrow, doubt, sadness, anger, jealousy, whatever the emotion or issue at hand is, that Christ can use to reveal Himself to us and show that with Him, our thirst can be quenched, our battle can be won, our life can be complete.
Rick explains that our culture teaches us that weakness is unacceptable and shameful. We don't talk openly about failure, it is not acceptable to fail at anything (at this, he gave UM students a shout out : P ). Though if we look at so many passages of scripture, one can we that failure and weakness are welcomed with open arms by Christ and that we can learn to depend fully on him during these times.
Rick talked about several men throughout the history of the Bible who were made to have weaknesses so that they would depend fully on God's mercy and strength rather than what they knew they had.
He is saying that when we discover our weakness, we should be using it to develop an even deeper relationship with Christ, to allow Him to work in us at this "low" time, His "high" time. Rather than hide ourselves and be ashamed, we should talk to someone about what's on our heart and our burdens will be lifted through the power and love and strength of Christ.

How utterly amazing is it that we have a God so compassionate and loving that in our suffering, He reveals Himself and His love and mercy for us? That in our times of serious doubt and confusion, He will be there to help us though them.

It reminds me of a topic that was spoke about by my pastor at my church at home. He talked about how he had many people ask him why people who are so good and strong in Christ get cancer and suffer. His response was that God causes suffering in both those who are obedient and servants of God and those who are not so that one can see the difference it makes between the two: the difference between the suffering of a Christian and the suffering of a non-Christian and how in that difference, we find comfort and joy knowing that we are about to be forever with our God in eternity.
and that it is the most comforting and joyful thought that we have ever heard, felt, and believed.
and still do.
lifehouse - "from where you are."
so far away from where you are.
just know that wherever you are.
i miss you.
and i wish you
were here.







2 days. ish.
more like, tomorrow : )

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

5 days

"Must Have Done Something Right"

We should get jerseys cause we make a good team
But yours would look better than mine, cause you're outta my league
And I know that it's so cliche to tell you that everyday
I spend with you is the new best day of my life
Everyone watching us just turns away with disgust
It's Jealousy, they can see that we've got it going on

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You're OK with the way this is going to be
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen

If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I must've done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I must've done something right
I must've done something right

Maybe I'm just lucky cause it's hard to believe
Believe that somebody like you'd end up with someone like me
And I know that it's so cliche to talk about you this way
But I'll push all my inhibitions aside
It's so very obvious to everyone watching us
That we have got something real good going on

And I'm racking my brain for a new improved way
To let you know your more to me than what I know how to say
You're OK with the way this is going to be
This is going to be the best thing we've ever seen

If anyone can make me a better person you could
All I gotta say is I must've done something good
I came along one day and you rearranged my life
All I gotta say is I must've done something right
I must've done something right

Ike Ikehara - Relient K - Must Have Done Something Right .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine


"The Best Thing"

It's been a year
Filled with problems
But now you're here
Almost as if to solve them
And I can't live in a world without you now

All my life
I've been searching for you
How did I survive
In this world before you
Cause I don't wanna live another day without you now

This is the best thing
The best thing that could be happening
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that it's
Happening to you and me

All I'm gonna have
Is all that you can give me
And I'll give right back
Everything I have in me
Cause nothing ever felt as right
As this does right now

I'll go back to before we met
Try and erase the past
Try harder to forget cause
Nothing will ever be as good as here and now

Cause when I looked into your eyes
And you dared to stare right back
You should've said "Nice to meet you, I'm your other half"

And this is the best thing
The best thing that could be happening
And I think you would agree
The best thing is that it's happening
This is the best thing (the best thing)
The best thing that could be happening (the best thing)
And I think you would agree (whoooaaa whooaa)
The best thing is that it's
Happening to you and me

Always knew
I'd find someone
I never dreamt
It'd be like this
You've surpassed
All that I've hoped for (and ever wished)
And I'm tryin'
So hard
With all my heart and mind
To make your life
As good as you've made mine

This is the best thing (the best thing)
The best thing that could be happening (the best thing)
And I think you would agree (whooaaa)
The best thing is that it's happening to you and me

The best thing is that it's happening to you and me
The best thing is that it's happening to you and me

(The best thing) The best thing that could be happening
(The best thing) I think you would agree
The best thing is that it's happening to you and me

acoustic:



*the acoustic version does not do this song justice . . .

Monday, December 7, 2009

"Stuck To You"

Holding my breath
For a whole month
If I held your breath
At least we would touch

Keeping from you
Keeps me from sleep
It's just this bad beat
That I just can keep

Oh girl, it's true
I can never be away from you
It's like you gloss your lips with glue
Oh we kiss and I am stuck to you

My hearts on the floor
My feet feel like lead
I'd quit the tour
But I'm already dead

Our only connection is synthetically
We show our affection electronically

Oh girl, it's true
I can never be away from you
It's like you gloss your lips with glue
Oh we kiss and I am stuck to you

We lock lips and throw the key out
till it slips that
I must leave town
Our love reaches
Across oceans
To your beaches
Lonely notions

Oh girl, it's true
I can never be away from you
It's like you gloss your lips with glue
Oh we kiss and I am stuck to you


"Oh, It Is Love"

Oh, it is love
From the first time I set my eyes upon yours
Thinking oh, is it love?

Oh dear
It's been hardly a moment
And you are already missed
There is still a bit of your skin
That I've yet to have kissed
Oh say please do not go
But you know, oh, you know that I must
Oh say I love you so
But you know, oh, you know you can trust
We'll be holding hands once again
All our broken plans I will mend
I will hold you tight so you know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my hand into yours
Thinking oh is it love?

Oh, dear, it's been hardly three days
And I'm longing to feel your embrace.
There are several days
Until I can see your sweet face.
Oh say, wouldn't you like to be older and married with me
Oh say, wouldn't it be nice to know right now that we'll be
Someday holding hands in the end
All our broken plans will have been
I will kiss you soft so you know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking oh is it love?

Your heart may long for love that is more near
So when I'm gone these words will be here
To ease every fear
And dry up every tear
And make it very clear
I kiss you and I know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking oh is it love?

Oh it is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking oh is it love?

I kiss you and I know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips onto yours
Thinking oh is it love?
Hellogoodbye - Oh, It Is Love .mp3
Found at bee mp3 search engine




Sunday, December 6, 2009

PK a week ago. . .

I went home for Thanksgiving, naturally, and went to my home church service. Though it is quite different than the church I attend in aa, it's my home church and I will always be happy to go back and see familiar faces.
This past Sunday (not today, but last week), PK did a fantastic sermon on dedication to Christ. The jist of sermon was that we should give everything we have to God and be willing to give up whatever we need to follow and be more like Him. He pulled from Luke, of course, and talked about when Peter denied Christ three times and that Jesus predicted this. He went on to talk about how Jesus gave up everything knowingly for us and our sins. He came down from Heaven as man, knowing that he would have to live a perfect life in order to save us from our sinful lives. He gave up His entire life and everything sinful in it so that we could be saved, yet we can't commit ourselves anywhere near that proximity. We struggle to wake up and go to church instead of sleeping in. We debate on watching TV over pulling out our Bibles and studying God's living Word. We commit sins every day, we are only human. But there are so many things, if we just dedicated ourselves to Christ, that we could avoid.
There was more to the sermon, but I left my notes at home . . .
but there was this one analogy he told that really hit home. . . excuse the lack on information. This was a week ago and though I remember the gist of it, I can't quite recall it word-for-word.
A german soldier was trying for a promotion during one of the wars and had done everything they had every asked of him. He also had a dog who did everything he asked of her. She obeyed his every command, whether it was rolling over, laying down, going outside. She was loyal to him in every way possible and he loved her with the deepest, utmost affection than anyone or anything else.
He went to his commanding officer to learn what his final task would be before being promoted. His officer told him that in order to be promoted, his final task would be to kill his dog with his own hands. They wanted to make sure he could deal mentally with killing someone, or something, without any emotions.
and at that, he turned around to face his dog, grabbed her neck, put her in a choke, and snapped her neck.
The officer responded that he would do the military a great service.

At the end of the story, PK let everything settle and then said this. . .
A man with so much hatred, a heart of complete stone, showed enough dedication to kill the one thing in his entire life that he loved deeply. How can we have someone so horrible show so much dedication but us with so much love, cannot match that?

My explanation really doesn't do his sermon justice. Go here to get the entire sermon as well as the sermon outline. It's really worth downloading and listening to : )
"Here In Your Arms"

I like where we are,
When we drive, in your car
I like where we are.... Here

Cause our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper's "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

I like where you sleep,
When you sleep, next to me.
I like where you sleep... here

Our lips, can touch
And our cheeks, can brush
Our lips can touch here

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whisper's "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

Our lips, can touch
Our lips, can touch...here

You are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly"
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

You are the one the one that lies close to me
Whisper's hello I miss you, I miss you
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms

Here in your arms.
Here in your arms.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

a few things. . .

First, look at how much more I blog without the presence of facebook in my life! Perhaps I should reconsider having a facebook entirely . . . bahahahaha. Yeeeah right.

Second, check out this amaaaazing video!
So as I wrote last night about how I couldn't waste precious hours on facebook, I wasted precious hours on youtube instead : ) Michelle and I got bored with studying . . . er, distracted would seem more appropriate, and ended up searching through the Top 100 Youtube videos to watch. This came up as an extremely high ranking. There is just something so empowering about it, reassuring, comforting . . . idk, I want a lion now though : )

The song is a bit corny, but it does play with the video well : P

Third, I sound like a frog that get hit by a car but didn't die. My voice is horrible! I called my mom today and the first thing she said was "whats wrong?" . . . nothing, I just sound horrible. So then I called my grandma to ask a favor and the first thing she says: "what's wrong?" and following that, I called my aunt to ask her a question and when my uncle handed her the phone, he said, "It's Stephanie, she's bad . . . " which led her to say "What's wrong" before even muttering hello : P
I mean, I do sound pretty bad . . . but I definitely don't feel as bad as I sound, thank God. I don't feel bad at all actually . . .

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

fashion milestones and other bare necessities

My birthday was a week ago . . . I am officially twenty years old.
Two decades.
Now I apologize to all those who are older than that and that I make you feel older in saying that. But putting it that way makes ME feel old.

Birthday means cake. and Presents.
I asked for Uggs, and Uggs I received.
AKA: I just experienced a fashion milestone.
What is that you say? Well allow me to ellaborate. A fashion milestone is an event that takes place in one's life that holds significant value in the world of clothes, shoes, accessories, fashion, etc. and cannot be repeated. For example, receiving your first Coach bag (I hate Coach . . . but this does qualify), or buying your first pair of Jimmy Choos, or purchasing your first Louis Vuitton luggage set.
UGG = fashion milestone.

I can add this to the list of previous fashion milestones.
My first Steve Madden hobo, my first purchase from Victoria's Secret, my first pair of heels . . .
I can also keep in mind of future fashion milestones.
First pair of Jimmy Choos, Christian Louboutins, and Minnolos. First and only Vera Wang wedding dress (I can dream, alright?). First True Religion jeans. First Chloè bag. First Raybans. First Oscar de la Renta (yeah, definitely dreaming . . . )
Fashion milestones can only be qualified as fashion milestones the FIRST time they occur. This does not mean, however, that they cannot be purchased more than once, or in bulk (note: Santa, pay attention).
Clearly, I have a lot more to check off my list : D

On a lighter note . . .
I have removed myself from the facebook community.
No, this does not mean that I am not listed on facebook anymore, it means simply that it's finals and I have GOT to do WORK.
aka: not waste precious hours (not minutes) on facebook . . . but spend those "precious" hours studying and mapping out how the rest of these next three weeks will be devoted timelessly to Italian, Biology, and _ _ _ _ ing stats.
It is liberating though to be free from the clutches and whisperings of facebook . . . "come stalk . . . look at ______'s profile . . . so-and-so has new pictures up!! . . ." it daunts.
No long will facebook be guilttripping me into avoiding studying. I have food and music to do that for me . . .
and I must say, I've gotten plenty more done in the past few days than perhaps, the all of the time I've already spent in school.
How pathetic that my most productive days are three weeks before the semester is finished because I have decided to boycott facebook for three weeks?

what a sad world we live in.
I just blogged about fashion milestones and facebook woes.
I apologize for my "shallow" sounding life, but I assure you I am nothing of the sort.
I simply want to get a good job, a good fellow, marry rich, and die young and happy.
all of the sort which is false except for the first two, so only half of it is false.

Oy.
time for bed . . . in three hours.
as soon as I get some studying done!
; )