stephanie is...

We are all facebook and myspace obsessed. Face it, they run our world along with cell phones, money, television, media, and celebrity gossip. Something I personally find interesting on facebook and newly added to myspace are the statuses of people. Some are real chucklers and others are just plain weird. I remember a long time ago when the facebook crazy first started at HHS, I heard that Larry Kimball’s status stated, “Larry Kimball is Caucasian.” Now I’m that clever to come up with something funny like that but I have had my moments. Most of my statuses are inside jokes with a friend or a personal reference made to someone for me to know and you to try to figure out. Occasionally they’re about something that’s going on, a note to someone, or a simple explanation to how I’m feeling.
Right now, my status says, “Stephanie Woodbury has been hit … and knocked out.” I would like to make it say several things, as I said before. So I decided that I would just include them on here. So here is a list of Stephanie Woodbury is … statuses.
Stephanie Woodbury …
… is making damn sure.
… wants to break you down so badly in the worst way.
… is beyond gone.
… is catching on.
… is ready for a vacation.
… has plotted her escape.
… is begging you to be my escape.
... is boss.
… …
… is ready to runnnnnnn. Far and long.
… should hate you for this, but never really will ever quite get that far.
… is a wishful thinker with the worst intentions.
… is what the French, toast?
… can make you dizzy.
… is deep, dark, and devastating.
… wonders how close is close enough.
… will do whatever it takes.
… is sinking.
… a music addict.
Those are ones that I came up with sort of randomly, sort of based off of songs. Speaking of songs, I’ve realized how much music is in and runs my life. Art is a way to express yourself and I would consider music to be a way to express myself. I like to find songs that relate to what I’m feeling and use them to express myself. In a way I suppose it’s a bit of a copyright thing, but whatever. I haven’t quite figured out how to write a song and plus, it’s more fun to listen to the music in the background, and there’s no way I can do that. So I’ve decided to compile some random lyrics and song titles just to help with some things … some sort of therapy sorta thing I suppose.
Here goes nothing.

you made yourself a bed
at the bottom of the blackest hole
and oh how could you do it
i never saw it coming
i need the ending
so why can’t you just stay long enough to stay.
take these chances to turn it around
take these chances, we’ll make it somehow.


i never wanted to say this
you never wanted to stay
i put my faith in you
so much faith and then you
you just threw it away


this won’t mean a thing come tomorrow
and that’s exactly how you’ll make it seem
‘cause i’m still not sleeping
thinking i’ve gone home from worse than this
so please, please
i’m running out of sympathy
i never said i’d take this
i never said i’d take this lying down


it’s not the time to breakdown.
it’s not the time to break up this love
keep it together now
it’s not the time to break.


i’m fallin’ apart, barely breathin’
with a broken heart that’s still beating.
in the pain, there is healing.
in your name, i find meaning.
so i’m holdin’ on, i’m holdin’ on
i’m holdin’ on.
i’m barely holdin’ onto you.
i’m hangin’ on another day
just to see what you throw my way.
and i’m hangin’ on
to the words you say.
you said that I would
be okay.


i’ll do whatever it takes
to turn this around.
i know what’s at stake.
i know that i’ve let you down.
and if you give me a chance
if you give me a break
i’ll keep us together



what goes around comes around
what goes up must come down


if i ain’t got you with me baby


cause a man, just ain't a man
if he aint' man enough
to love you when you're right,
love you when you're wrong
love you when you're weak,
love you when you're strong
take you higher
when the world got you feelin low.
he's given you his last,
cause he's thinking of you first
given comfort when you're thinking that you're hurt
that's what's done when you really love someone
when the world got you feelin low.
he's giving you his best,
even when you're at your worst
giving comfort, when he's thinking that you're hurt
that's what's done, when you really love someone


used to look at you
and see the possibilities
i see you for who you are
boy you've disappointed me
i thought you gave me love
was never near enough
soon enough time reveals
the weight of what is real


everywhere i'm turning
nothing seems complete
i stand up and i’m searching
for the better part of me
i hang my head from sorrow
state of humanity
i wear it on my shoulders
gotta find the strength in me
cause i am a Superwoman
yes i am, yes she is
even when i'm a mess
i still put on a vest
with an S on my chest
oh yes
i’m a Superwoman
for all the mothers fighting
for better days to come
and all my women sitting here trying
to come home before the sun
and all my sisters coming together
say yes i will yes i can
when i'm breaking down
and i can't be found
and i start to get weak
cause no one knows me underneath these clothes
but i can fly, we can fly,
cause i am a Superwoman


so every time you hold me
hold me like this is the last time
every time you kiss me
kiss me like you'll never see me again
every time you touch me
touch me like this is the last time
promise that you'll love mel
ove me like you'll never see me again
how many really know what love is?
millions never will
do you know until you lose it
that it's everything that we are looking for
when i wake up in the morning
you're beside me
i'm so thankful that i found
everything that i been looking for


we're at the crossroads my dear
where do we go from here
maybe you wont go maybe you'll stay
i know i'm going to miss you either way
its such a lonely road
when i cry your name
am i calling in vain?
am i waitin' only to drown in pain?
don't you do it no don't you leave me this way
i don't know if i could lift my head and face another day
it's such a lonely road
usually not the kind of girl who's lost and looking for direction
who could this be staring at me
when i'm looking in the mirror trying find the resolution
we're too far gone to find our way home
where do we go from here
follow the tracks of my tears


the sand loves when the waves come
the sky can't wait for the light of the sun
so how could you look me in my eye
and not see what i feel inside
tell me how could you doubt the fact that iI love you
I love you
don't you ever think like that.don't you ever never do that?
there will never be two things that go together better
than you and me
north needs south east needs west
no needs yes yes yes
up needs down life needs death
no needs yes yes yes
I need you, I need you, I need you
You...I need you

like the desert misses the rain…

i just want you close
where you can stay forever
you can be sure
that it’ll only get better.
you and me together
through the days and nights
i don’t worry ‘cause
everything’s gonna be alright.
people keep talkin’
they can say what they like
but all i know is
everything’s gonna be alright.
no one
no one
no one can get in the way of what i’m feelin’.
no one
no one
no one can get in the way of what feel for you.
when the rain is pourin’ down
and my heart is searchin’
you will always be around
this i know for certain
i know some people search the world
to find something like what we have
i know people will try to divide something so real
so ‘til the end of time i’m tellin’ you that no one
can get in the way of what i feel for you.



Okay, I think I'm done rambling.

Please stop.
Please don't.
Just ... wait.

[day8]

Day 8


Today was interesting, not going to lie one bit. I was up ‘til two am last night, wishing, praying, hoping, dreaming for a snow day; made plans with Myr for a date if we did have a snow day, and naturally what happens? No Snow Day. Whatev. Yes, I said whatev.

So I get up today, go to school in the below 0 degree weather. Everyone’s car doors were frozen shut … mine were and I was parked in my dad’s garage. Hello..

Went to school, did Spanish (hate that class) … did Pysch … that class isn’t too bad. Andrew Scholl is quite a riot, not gonna lie about that one either. Then lunch and then I skipped out on school the rest of the day. Four hours of sleep just doesn’t quite work for me, yes I know it’s my fault but just saying :)

I was in a vent mood earlier and it’s changed a bit. I’m beginning to get a bit more upper spirited? Does that even make sense? But I have. I’ve organized and shaped some theories in my head and they’re coming about quite nicely actually. Now it’s just trying to explain them and remember the points. I’ve told two people today and it seemed to go well … now the real test.

I just don’t really want to talk about it all ‘cause it just puts me in a bad mood. Plus, I’m going to be hitting the sack in approximately ten minutes. Like I said. Four. Hours.

I just want everything to work out.

And sorry for the such the uneventful blog. :\\ I just had a very uneventful day. Maybe next time..

Defintion: Epiphany

e·piph·a·ny
–noun, plural -nies.
/ɪˈpɪf ə ni/ Pronunciation Key [i-pif-uh-nee]
a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.


I am not writing in this blog because I want attention. I’m not planning on anyone even reading it. I’m not hoping for someone to read it and it change their life … I’m just writing it in hope that perhaps someone will stumble across it during their quest or simple surfing of the web and they are inspired to begin their own. Plus, I can type faster than I can write.

This first blog, however, will not contain little insights to my life … the basics, the typical introduction. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to dive right into the wonderful drama-filled events that envelope a teenage girl’s life. Not to mention, I don’t wish to disclose some of my more personal facts, rather than the personal events that occur. … Okay so that was a bit of an oxymoron, but you will find in the approaching months that I’m a bit of a contradictive, random, yet predictable person.



My life has been a bit more eventful lately than normal. You can usually find me at school, at home, or at work on the weekends but recently, I have been “fortunate” enough to have a bit of a modification to my habitual lifestyle. And as I was driving home from a nice outing with a friend, I found myself thinking about the entire thing.
I had been with David for two years, the longest I’d ever been with anyone by more than four months. And I was okay with being with him that long, I wanted to be with him longer. He is currently attending Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. I am back home … in a small town in the most southern part of Michigan … ten hours away. It’s been the most difficult months since August that I have ever gone through with him. And not once do I regret doing it. I might suggest to other people that they shouldn’t do it because it’s the most difficult thing in the world, but I would never take it all back.
Recently … Tuesday night at 12:30 AM to be exact, it was decided that it was too difficult. And through all of the misunderstandings and broken hearts, we hung up the phone three hours later and I cried and ran to my mother like I used to when I’d had a bad dream. When she woke up, all she said was, “It was just a dream, it was just a dream.” And through the sobs and tears, I kept repeating, “No it’s not, it’s real.”
Since Tuesday night, I’ve had lots of time to think about what’s happened. I am miserable about the entire ordeal … but what am I to do. Advice from friends is always so difficult to take, just as from family too. They take offense if you don’t use their advice, they get mad if you get weak, and they often push things on you that you aren’t ready to do. My friends and family have all been supportive; they may say what I want to hear at first, but they aren’t afraid to tell the truth. Most importantly, they listen. Always, they listen. And I love that.
Today I’m not going to talk about how I want things to turn out, just how I have been shaped and molded by the love, care, opinions. of David Trippett.
In all of my life, I would consider those closest to me the people who have influenced me the most. The top five would include my parents (2), my Aunt Wendy, David, and Sarah Sessions. These people have seen me at my worst. They have helped me through the worst and have always been there for the best. My parents raised me, they taught me things that I would’ve only learned from them. My Aunt was the coolest relative I ever had and every day, I want to be like her. David was my first real love. And Sarah was my first true friend that ended up not being what I wanted. Each person taught me something significant, or more than one thing.
When I am away from my parents, I don’t change. My appearance, my personality, my actions, they don’t change; okay just my attitude changes typically, but that is normal with parents. My Aunt Wendy lives an hour and a half away so I’m used to not seeing her. Sarah has been out of my life for over two years now and that’s made everything even better. But with David … I think that will be a bit different.
I have noticed that in the five months that David has been consistently gone, I’ve changed and not necessarily in a good way. I am more independent, yes, but more bad mannered. I am not afraid to speak my opinions and more than often, I don’t think before I speak. I haven’t become a mean person; I just haven’t been as nice as I used to be. And when he comes back home, I slowly return to my previous state; the one where I think before I talk, where I don’t care about myself as much as I do other people. And I’m afraid that with him out of my life, unable to influence me, unable to ground me, unable to reach out to me, I won’t return to that previous state.

Something I don’t understand one bit..
If we’re both miserable, then what’s the point.