it's not always rainbows and butterflies...
sometimes the hardest thing
and the right thing
are the same
Ps- allergies stink : P
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
overly productive day
wait, is there such a thing?
x tanlines
x outline physics
x run
x shower
x go to class
x read a chapter in a book
x vidchat ♥
x go to bed on time
tomorrow...
go to class
go to study group
go to lab
make a new to-do list
do physics homework
catch up on the bachelorette
the end : )
x tanlines
x outline physics
x run
x shower
x go to class
x read a chapter in a book
x vidchat ♥
x go to bed on time
tomorrow...
go to class
go to study group
go to lab
make a new to-do list
do physics homework
catch up on the bachelorette
the end : )
Sunday, May 23, 2010
regrets.
I feel like I am having a blogger's block (try saying that five times fast...)
Growing up is tough. and I have really learned that lately. It really makes me appreciate the small thing in life, especially as a child. I remember waking up early on summer mornings to go out and ride my big wheel up and down the driveway, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. At 7, that really was the highlight of my day. The summer breeze blowing in my face, the sweet noise the wheels made against the pavement, and wheeling around to go back up the driveway since I wasn't allowed to go past the first neighbor's house really made me feel like a BA seven year old (I felt even cooler when it was extended to the SECOND neighbor's house...). At seven, I never thought I would look back at those moments and really treasure them.
I was always encouraged throughout all of my schooling to continue it. If there was one thing pounded into my head, it was college. College was never considered optional in my family, and I now understand and know that it is because my parents have experienced what it is like to go through life without a degree, without a college education and they understand how tough it is nowadays. I don't blame them for pushing me, and I definitely appreciate the gesture. I honestly believe that it has made me the determined, focused person that I am today.
Something that I have noticed is how unsure of myself I have become lately. If there is one word that can describe me, independent is it. I have never really leaned on other people for opinions, advice, or a shoulder to cry on. I have always referred to myself as a tough "muffin" - tough on the outside, soft on the inside, and I do think that sums my personality up. I am not emotional, I don't depend on others, I am content in going through things alone. One example: I never wanted to get married. I have always felt that marriage was something that was no longer plausible. With all the negatives that are attached to love, marriage, commitment, loyalty, all of the things involved IN an actual marriage, I shuttered to think that those things were really real. A healthy marriage just isn't that common any longer, unfortunately, and I had always planned on having a long term boyfriend whom I never married, but would jet set all over the world with after I became a wealthy surgeon. Obviously, that thought has since left my mind and now it is the one thing I am sure of.
The one thing I am sure of.
For as long as I can remember, I have had an interest in eyes and eye doctors. I got glasses at the young age of three and have been in and out of the eye doctor's office numerous times for patches, glasses repair, or contact check ups. I decided to become an eye doctor, thinking that I could then fix my own eyes and help others do the same... as well as play with all of the cool do-hickeys that are involved with all that . . . stuff : P I did science fair projects on vision and eyes, I loved when we disected the sheep's eye in second grade, and I bought a 3-d model of an eye at a book fair in elementary school. It became almost, a second nature. I never questioned any of it and never developed a backup.
It wasn't until I met Jeff that I considered a back up- specifically, the beginning of sophomore year. I remember one night, calling a few people and having my first meltdown about growing up for that year. At the end of freshman year, I had the intention of flying out the California for "vacation" and checking out fashion schools. I really considered dropping out of Michigan to go into fashion... Something, rather, someone came up and that never happened. But I often wish I would have sucked it up and looked into it.
I don't believe in regrets with one inch of myself. I believe every single little thing that happens happens for a reason. God has a plan, and everything is to fall into place as he maps it long before I ever know about it. For that reason, I know that the mistakes I have made, the rewards I have reaped, the benefits I have racked up or tossed aside are exactly what has made me who I am today. But there have been two things I have always somewhat considered "regrets" when asked that question.. One of them is no longer a regret because, as stated before, everything that happens, happens for a reason : ) the other still haunts me.
It's not that I don't think I can do the doctor route, because I think you can do anything you set your mind to. It isn't that I don't really WANT to do it, per-say. I'm finally learning how hard it is truly going to be. And I get so sick of people telling me, "oh, it'll pay off in the long run." Yeah, no kidding the l o n g run. I have to go to school for another four years after undergrad in college. Then I have to apply for a residency and go into learning at a hospital. and THEN I get to get a job and work like crazy until I'm 60 something. and for once in my life, I am actually questioning whether or not this will make me happy.
One of the reasons I never backed out of Michigan, honestly, was the letdown I would allow for all of my family. Who the heck drops out of the University of Michigan to go into fashion??? I was handed such an amazing opportunity to study at a prestigious university with a sophisticated name that is known around the world. Why would I give that up? On top of that, the entire no money, no networking, no celebrity hook-ups also factored in.
Now... I wish I would have looked into it more...
I want to spend the rest of my life with the person I love and doing what I love.
and I am no longer 100% sure that carving out someone's eye with a laser is really what I want to do, or if I have always considered it what I "wanted" to do because it would be comfortable, convenient, and benefitting.
and I feel like it's far too late to try to change it.
Growing up is tough. and I have really learned that lately. It really makes me appreciate the small thing in life, especially as a child. I remember waking up early on summer mornings to go out and ride my big wheel up and down the driveway, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. At 7, that really was the highlight of my day. The summer breeze blowing in my face, the sweet noise the wheels made against the pavement, and wheeling around to go back up the driveway since I wasn't allowed to go past the first neighbor's house really made me feel like a BA seven year old (I felt even cooler when it was extended to the SECOND neighbor's house...). At seven, I never thought I would look back at those moments and really treasure them.
I was always encouraged throughout all of my schooling to continue it. If there was one thing pounded into my head, it was college. College was never considered optional in my family, and I now understand and know that it is because my parents have experienced what it is like to go through life without a degree, without a college education and they understand how tough it is nowadays. I don't blame them for pushing me, and I definitely appreciate the gesture. I honestly believe that it has made me the determined, focused person that I am today.
Something that I have noticed is how unsure of myself I have become lately. If there is one word that can describe me, independent is it. I have never really leaned on other people for opinions, advice, or a shoulder to cry on. I have always referred to myself as a tough "muffin" - tough on the outside, soft on the inside, and I do think that sums my personality up. I am not emotional, I don't depend on others, I am content in going through things alone. One example: I never wanted to get married. I have always felt that marriage was something that was no longer plausible. With all the negatives that are attached to love, marriage, commitment, loyalty, all of the things involved IN an actual marriage, I shuttered to think that those things were really real. A healthy marriage just isn't that common any longer, unfortunately, and I had always planned on having a long term boyfriend whom I never married, but would jet set all over the world with after I became a wealthy surgeon. Obviously, that thought has since left my mind and now it is the one thing I am sure of.
The one thing I am sure of.
For as long as I can remember, I have had an interest in eyes and eye doctors. I got glasses at the young age of three and have been in and out of the eye doctor's office numerous times for patches, glasses repair, or contact check ups. I decided to become an eye doctor, thinking that I could then fix my own eyes and help others do the same... as well as play with all of the cool do-hickeys that are involved with all that . . . stuff : P I did science fair projects on vision and eyes, I loved when we disected the sheep's eye in second grade, and I bought a 3-d model of an eye at a book fair in elementary school. It became almost, a second nature. I never questioned any of it and never developed a backup.
It wasn't until I met Jeff that I considered a back up- specifically, the beginning of sophomore year. I remember one night, calling a few people and having my first meltdown about growing up for that year. At the end of freshman year, I had the intention of flying out the California for "vacation" and checking out fashion schools. I really considered dropping out of Michigan to go into fashion... Something, rather, someone came up and that never happened. But I often wish I would have sucked it up and looked into it.
I don't believe in regrets with one inch of myself. I believe every single little thing that happens happens for a reason. God has a plan, and everything is to fall into place as he maps it long before I ever know about it. For that reason, I know that the mistakes I have made, the rewards I have reaped, the benefits I have racked up or tossed aside are exactly what has made me who I am today. But there have been two things I have always somewhat considered "regrets" when asked that question.. One of them is no longer a regret because, as stated before, everything that happens, happens for a reason : ) the other still haunts me.
It's not that I don't think I can do the doctor route, because I think you can do anything you set your mind to. It isn't that I don't really WANT to do it, per-say. I'm finally learning how hard it is truly going to be. And I get so sick of people telling me, "oh, it'll pay off in the long run." Yeah, no kidding the l o n g run. I have to go to school for another four years after undergrad in college. Then I have to apply for a residency and go into learning at a hospital. and THEN I get to get a job and work like crazy until I'm 60 something. and for once in my life, I am actually questioning whether or not this will make me happy.
One of the reasons I never backed out of Michigan, honestly, was the letdown I would allow for all of my family. Who the heck drops out of the University of Michigan to go into fashion??? I was handed such an amazing opportunity to study at a prestigious university with a sophisticated name that is known around the world. Why would I give that up? On top of that, the entire no money, no networking, no celebrity hook-ups also factored in.
Now... I wish I would have looked into it more...
I want to spend the rest of my life with the person I love and doing what I love.
and I am no longer 100% sure that carving out someone's eye with a laser is really what I want to do, or if I have always considered it what I "wanted" to do because it would be comfortable, convenient, and benefitting.
and I feel like it's far too late to try to change it.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
forever : )
God is my shepherd
I won't be wanting
I won't be wanting
He makes me rest
In fields of green
With quite streams
Even though I walk
Through the valley
Of death and dying
I will not fear
'Cause you are with me
You are with me
Your shepherd staff
Comforts me
You are my feast
In the presence of enemy
Surely goodness
Follow me
Follow me
In the house of God, forever
God is my shepherd
I won't be wanting
I won't be wanting
He makes me rest
In fields of green
Like quiet streams
Even while I'm walking
Through the valley
Of death and dying
I will not fear
'Cause you are with me
You're always with me
Your shepherd staff
Comforts me
You are my feast
In the presence of enemy
Surely goodness
Follow me
Follow me
In the house of God, forever
In the house of God, forever
In the house of God, forever
I won't be wanting
I won't be wanting
He makes me rest
In fields of green
With quite streams
Even though I walk
Through the valley
Of death and dying
I will not fear
'Cause you are with me
You are with me
Your shepherd staff
Comforts me
You are my feast
In the presence of enemy
Surely goodness
Follow me
Follow me
In the house of God, forever
God is my shepherd
I won't be wanting
I won't be wanting
He makes me rest
In fields of green
Like quiet streams
Even while I'm walking
Through the valley
Of death and dying
I will not fear
'Cause you are with me
You're always with me
Your shepherd staff
Comforts me
You are my feast
In the presence of enemy
Surely goodness
Follow me
Follow me
In the house of God, forever
In the house of God, forever
In the house of God, forever
| Jon Foreman - The House of God Forever .mp3 | ||
 | ||
 | Found at bee mp3 search engine |  |
Monday, May 17, 2010
encouragement
"A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her." - Unknown
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?
Psalm 56:3-4
Psalm 56:3-4
So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
Isaiah 41:10
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Isaiah 41:13
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:9
Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it."
Ezra 10:4
"Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O LORD, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O LORD."
Psalm 25:4-7
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
Proverbs 3:5-6
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."
Proverbs 16:3
"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
Psalm 18:2
6
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Where is the Love - as written in 11th grade
In one of the most difficult classes I ever took at Hillsdale High school, I had to write an final piece to be presented orally to the class in Advanced Reading and Writing. This teacher was one of the toughest English teachers I ever had, but she was what I needed. Unfortunately, she discouraged me from taking AP English (which I really wish I would have...) since this was somewhat like the Intro to AP English.
Anyways, here it is.
Where is the Love
Love is one of the most frequently used words throughout one's lifetime, but what is it exactly? Is it forever? Does it break? Defining love is something near impossible as a teenager, but everyone has their own opinion and feeling on love. The entertainment industry seems to have the biggest influence on the idea and definition of love.
Love is a common topic in books, movies, music lyrics, and other forms of entertainment. The industries paint a perfect picture of a boy and a girl falling madly and deeply in love and everything ending happily. The feelings and penetration of love have been tainted. The perspective of it has been set in one's mind to be similar to a movie. There is one exception: the Bible. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) These verses clearly define love and all of its boundaries; it is what one should base love off of, not movies or books or songs. Though we can relate to these different forms of love presented to us in several ways, the type of love that comes deep from one's hear is the love one should strive for. A movie that has projected one of the biggest bases of one's opinion of love is The Notebook, based off of Nicholas' Sparks' famous romantic novel. "The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds," is a thought written in a letter to Allie, the love of Noah's life. Although this movie is an example of the decided definition of love according to the entertainment industry, it contains several quotes that open one's heart to love and shows what it should be, this quote being one. Everyone searches for love, someone to spend the rest of their lives with, and grow old together, someone to bear children with, establish firm trust and loyalty with; everyone deserves love.
Love is developed at a very young age. As a child, one depends on someone to love, provide, and introduce the feeling of love. Children love because that is all they have; they can only love to show their appreciation. Although they can voice opinions, they cannot show physically the deepness and meaning of their love because they simply don't understand.
As children grow older, they develop a theory and meaning of love; and as an adult, love is fully understood. Do adults really have a concept of love? Do they truly understand the meaning of love? With the divorce rate being at 36%, it does not seem that way. Love is something not meant to be taken lightly and many teens and young adults dive into the feeling of love simply because they believe they have achieved it or found it. These age groups have been persuaded to believe that they have fallen in love when instead, they are in love with the idea of their relationship being love. Thank the entertainment industry for the blunder of blemishing our minds with these fairy tales of happy endings.
Love can lead to marriage, marriage lasts forever, or at least it is meant to. So why does one allow someone else to paint a picture of a general feeling of love? Love is a feeling, a state of being; it is something that one decides for them, not the world. It is said that one can tell when they are in love, so trust the heart to guide you, don't depend on movies, books, and other silly nonsense; decide for yourself.
So I can find plenty of errors among this paper, along with several things I would have worded differently, but hey, this was junior year = 11th grade = bad writing : P
but good for back then : P
I still agree with this paper entirely, though I feel I could argue it better now : P
Saturday, May 1, 2010
"Come Home"
Hello world
Hope you're listening
Forgive me if I’m young
For speaking out of turn
There’s someone I’ve been missing
I think that they could be
The better half of me
They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right
But I’m tired of justifying
So i say you’ll..
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
So come home
Oh
I get lost in the beauty
Of everything i see
The world ain’t as half as bad
As they paint it to be
If all the sons
If all the daughters
Stopped to take it in
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin
It might start now..Yeahh
Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud
Until then
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Oh
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
Everything i can’t be
Is everything you should be
And that’s why i need you here
So hear this now
Come home
Come home
Cause I’ve been waiting for you
For so long
For so long
And right now there's a war between the vanities
But all i see is you and me
The fight for you is all I’ve ever known
Ever known
So come home
Come home
| One Republic - Come Home .mp3 | ||
| | ||
| Found at bee mp3 search engine | |
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