An article has recently been circulating on "The Facebook" about how it isn't everything to get married at the young age of 23 and to live life to the fullest, or at least that would be my interpretation of the article. Another point I can clearly pick up, other than bashing young, married couples, is that one should not be intimidated by married people. I agree with the first and third interpretation, definitely not the second since I
As someone who never wanted to get married, I was intrigued by this article. I thought I would read it and be proud that someone was finally saying, hey! It's okay to be single and do some things for yourself! After all, I was one of those people. I was unlike most all of my friends who wanted nothing more than find a boyfriend and get married. I pictured myself a workaholic doctor who would just have either a few long, long-term boyfriends, one long-term boyfriend I would never marry, or just have dogs for the rest of my life (I hate cats...). I did not want to get married.
As a Christian, I also believe that what I have planned is rarely how things work. Many do not believe in a higher power, and if that is you, I am not here to preach, although if you're curious, I'd love to chat. It seems that people are so busy creating and accusing others of stereotypes rather than moving on and just allowing people to live without judgment (since it is not our place to judge). Practicing Christianity and being young and married are two of those stereotypes, and two characteristics of myself. My faith was part of why I never pictured myself married. I believe marriage is a serious, mature, and the biggest commitment one should ever make in their life. I understand marriage to be a godly, willing "sacrifice" that you are there to "bear witness" to someone's life. I remember a cheesy, but fantastic movie called "Shall We Dance" with Richard Gere, Jennifer Lopez, and Susan Sarandon with one of the most fantastic quotes that I have heard of marriage...
"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet. I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things- all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness."
I did not anticipate getting married at 23. I did not anticipate not going to medical school fresh out of college. I did not anticipate getting a puppy so soon. I did not anticipate the major in college that I chose. I did not anticipate having a full time job and still living where I live currently. Do I condemn and bash others for doing things that come unexpectedly? No. Do I judge others? Being honest, and sadly, yes, but I try to remember it is not my place to do so. Do I compare my life to others? Yes, I sure do. But when I do, I am sure to not put others down because they have made different choices than my own.
It is so sad that now, it is about having your own opinion, blaring it as loud for all to hear, and then shooting down every other person who wishes to have an opinion different than your own. I honestly expected the original post that circulated "The Facebook" to be an uplifting, positive post for single women around the world who were not married and had gone an alternative route other than the traditional one. I fully intended on following the route of unmarried and living independently. Instead, just as my best laid plans, I was proven wrong in the worst way because I have since learned that being married was the best decision I have made in my life, even if it was at 23, and that this article was not at all what I was hoping. Instead of putting down those who have chosen a different route, maybe learning that doing things for other people, such as encouragement and positive thinking, is a better stand than bullying the other crowd to feel better.
There is so much more to be said about this, but this is a silly little add in from my 21 year old sister who was married at 19:
[...] it's really sad because I've done more than half of those things on her stupid 23 things to do.
Let's see: 1. Get a passport. - Done
2. Find your “thing.”- Done
3. Make out with a stranger. -Not done
4. Adopt a pet. -Done
5. Start a band.-Yea not happening
6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too. - I've made cakes before
7. Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage.- Haven't done that yet
8. Explore a new religion.- I like my religion
9. Start a small business.-Done
10.Cut your hair.-Done
11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face.- That's just stupid
12. Build something with your hands.- Done
13. Accomplish a Pinterest project.- Done
14. Join the Peace Corps.- Not for me
15. Disappoint your parents.- Done
16. Watch GIRLS, over and over again.- Sounds stupid
17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting.- Never done it
18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places.- Done
19. Sign up for CrossFit.- No
20. Hangout naked in front of a window.- Def not
21. Write your feelings down in a blog.- Done- when I was like, 10
22. Be selfish.- Done
23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year.- Def not. She's a bitch
