New Years Past

I've never had much luck on new years. Since seventh grade, there has always been something not so great come out of the lovely, late night. Allow me to elaborate.

• 8th grade
  I stayed with Myr and Megan where their Detroit hood bf's came down and ended up fighting our friends. We did play strip poker ... ha. As in we got down to a tank top and jeans, so it was the most innocent strip poker there was... but just the same. I guess that was my rebel stage.
• 9th grade
  I stayed at Sa's house. Her brother drove us all around town to find us jolt so instead we got Mountain Dew Amp where we proceeded to pee excessively. Will came over because we were dating at the time and then we watched Children of the Corn- stupid movie. He went home and we got a call at four in the morning. We staged a break up after he went over to a friend's house whom I was fighting with (yay mature freshman). It eventually came out that he actually did screw around...
• 10th grade
  I was inbetween boyfriends and decided to hang out with David rather than Will or Kyle. They got drunk together and called at four am to tell me how David was a blankity-blank this and a blankity-blank that and that if I wanted to date one of them, they would be fine with it but otherwise, they would stop talking to me if I got with David.
• 11th grade
  I worked at the bar 'til nine. Just hosted and then left to go to a movie with David. We went and watched We Are Marshall if I remember correctly. On the way, my boot broke and so we had to go buy a new pair and then when the movie got out, we went over to one of his friend's house to watch the ball drop. We caught it with ten minutes remaining and then I had to be home by 12:15. My parents were fabulous.
• 12th grade
  I hung out with David. We started at my house I believe and jumped around for a bit and then ended up Brandi's. We got about a foot of snow and ended up getting snowed in. Mr. Rutan wouldn't let the boys leave so I spent my first 24 hours with David. We were snowed in until 5 in the evening on New Years Day and I got into a ton of trouble for being out for so long.
• This year
  Well... I worked at the bar until nine. I was so sick I could barely stand up. Iwent home, ate, showered, and brought the new year in, alone. Around 2 am, I got a "drunk text" from that special someone and then sorted that out. Around 5 am (I still hadn't gone to bed yet), I woke my mother up with a horrible ear ache that resulted in a cracked-out visit to the ER where they didn't give me meds. I went home and slept around 7 am and woke up around quarter after nine. I had breakfast, and then got my meds.
  

I just want one new years where I can sit with friends, someone I love, family, whatever. Get dressed up and have a good time without any catalysts to speed things up. I want to remember it, I want to remember it the next year and the year after. I want to get that new years kiss that I've never gotten. If I had my way, I'd wish for my husband to propose that day. But since I'm not dating 'til I'm looking for a husband, and I'm not looking for a husband until I graduate from UMich, and I don't graduate from UMich for another three and a half years (hopefully), I'm really counting on all of that happening within the next ten. : )








On a different note, I just wanted to make a list of things...

• I hate that this couldn't work.
• I hate that WE can't make this work.
• I hate that we had to give in.
• I hate that we don't understand.
• I hate that we refuse to understand.
• I hate that we have to throw away everything we once had.
• I hate that I can't wish you happiness because it hurts. Because I don't want you to be happy without me.
• I hate that I couldn't tell you that.
• I hate that you were intoxicated last night.
• I hate that we can't prove everyone wrong.
• I hate that everyone was right, as much as I don't want them to be...
  
• More of, I hate that we let everyone be right.
  
• I hate that this is how it has to be.
  
• I hate that we had to change "normal."
• I hate that we changed.
• I hate that I have to move on.
  
• I hate this.

...