This week has been fun, definately a good spring break :)
But that's beside the point. On my way home, I stopped in Jackson to visit a friend and then continued on home. As I've pointed out before, music is just ... wayyyy too important so that naturally means that any chance I can, I crank it to full volume and jammmm. So on the way home from Jackson as I drove in the dark and the rain after seeing a "scary" movie, I had my music to almost full blast. And suddenly, I had an epiphany as to something that I've really been struggling to understand lately.
I've really had a hard time with the fact that I can't share my emotions or say what I want to say. For some reason, I lock them away so deeply that I don't even know how I feel about things sometimes. I've finally figured out a bit more to help me get that stuff out. I think one of the key reasons as to why I lock these feelings away is because I've shared them with many people before only to get screwed over in the end. Now I understand that that would've come into mind immediately but I mean it in a different way. There are several people who knew almost everything and any feeling about me and rather those people tell those feelings, they did keep them quiet ... well for the most part. But those people betrayed me in other ways and eventually left me. I guess my mindset is a bit that I don't trust people because they won't stick around.
To bed.
3 am - 8 am is NOT enough sleep when I have to get up and entertain a 3- and a 4- year old..
But I love them :)
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