Fear --> Selfish

As a child, I was always fearful of death. I feel this was a natural thing, since as a child, you are often uneducated and unaware of what death entails. Many people are still afraid of death simply because of fear of the unknown. I remember being so afraid that I couldn't go to sleep at night- yes, I was a bit extreme but I was not exactly sure what happened. Back then, I was worried about my mom and my dad and my sister and what would happen to all of us if we died for some reason.

Now, I am not anywhere near as afraid of death. But I am still. As a Christian, I feel a bit guilty about that. I should be ecstatic to join Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior in Heaven for eternity, and I am. But I am somewhat ashamed to admit that there are things here on earth that I don't want to lose. When I say things, I'm not referring to material things such as shoes or clothes, but more of my dogs, or the fact that my mother will no longer be my mother, or my sister no longer my sister. I was explained to that in Heaven, your relatives are no longer your relatives because you are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Though this is very very exciting, I don't want my mom to not be my mom anymore, or my husband to no longer be my husband.

and this makes me feel almost selfish. I feel that until I am mature enough to really grasp the concept of death, I will always have those types of feelings.

But someday, I'll reach that maturity.

I do know that I am excited to meet my Lord, Jesus Christ someday : )