L is for the way you look at me..

Love can make you do crazy things. I've heard that before, never really believed it. I'm not going to share some type of experience that I've had with it, or preach about it. Rather, I will be here thinking out log, on my blog, over the internet ... pathetic? I think not. Okay, that was a lie.

But really.
I am a person very adament and "say no" about love. I believe that I owe much of this to my past disfuntional relationships. And honestly, though I don't want to admit it, my parents haven't exactly set the example for love either. I also think that I've been a bit pessismistic in the love department strictly because I hear the statistics, and I overanalyze something to be overly unrealistic. Does that even remotely make sense? Didn't think so.
Like I said, thinking out loud.

One thing.
It's not that I don't believe in love, at all. I believe very strongly in love and the capabilities love has and what it can bring you. But what I don't comprehend is love's strength and lifetime. I don't understand how one can possibly promise to feel the same way about someone, forever. An eternity is a long time, as it so obviously portrays in the Bible. I myself, have been in love once I would say. I don't think I would consider my first relationship as love, more of a misrepresentation of love. My second relationship I would consider to be love. I honestly would've died for that person if it meant they would live.
But things change, people change, life changes. Another reason I don't understand how love works. If a person is constantly changing, how can you continue to love them?

I read books, watch movies, listen to songs, all that contain the world, "love," or have the subject of love. These media toss it around as if it is so achievable, so within reach, so common, when in fact, love is one of the most difficult things to come by.

I like being in love. I miss being in love. I want to be in love, again. But after that, then what? Marriage? And after marriage, a baby? And then ... a divorce? Our society seems to think so these days. Another reason I don't really like love/marriage. What if my husband decides he wants a divorce? If I love him, I should know him in and out, so would not this mean I know he wouldn't divorce me? How about all those people that have proved that theory wrong in dozens of ways?

I'll admit, I look at love with my nose turned up, I don't trust love.

Hopefully, someday, it will change.